Zelda Bashing

The hero gets the princess...that's so clichéd!
And...?

Link saved Zelda's life and the whole of Hyrule and he doesn't even get a kiss.
Link saved Malon too, and he didn't get a kiss. He also saved Saria, Ruto, Impa, and Nabooru, and didn't get any. (Though Nabooru kind of offered. :\)

Zelda's such a spoiled brat.
This argument seems to stem from the fact that she's a princess, which would mean it's based on stereotypes. Zelda is not a brat, and there is no evidence from the game you could use to combat me.

Zelda ruined Link's life!
Zelda asked Link to open the Door of Time and he agreed. She didn't physically force him to do it. Zelda didn't know that Ganondorf would be at the Temple of Time at the exact moment Link was there. Everything that happened was one giant coincidence. Besides, Link and Zelda were very young. I think they were both fairly naïve about the matter; Zelda for concocting a plan to save the Triforce, and Link for actually going along with it. Yet in the end, Zelda made up for her mistake by sending Link back in time 7 years so he could live-out his childhood.

Zelda's a damsel in distress! You always have to save her, it's annoying!
You save Zelda once a game, which is usually the main point of the game. However, since we're discussing Ocarina of Time, I'm going to stick to events that happened there.

Zelda evades Ganondorf for seven years while Link is trapped in the Sacred Realm by disguising herself as Sheik. In the manga it even suggests she worked under Ganondorf to keep an eye on him. You'd have to have guts to pull crap like that.

When Link awakens from his sleep, Zelda is the second to greet him and tell him the specifics of his quest. She risks her own life by saving Princess Ruto from the ice when Zora's Domain freezes, she takes a hit from Bongo Bongo which sends her flying, and she leads Link out of the collapsing tower of Ganon's Castle. She, with the help of the other Sages, seal Ganon in the Evil Realm and help return peace to Hyrule.

In OoT, Zelda is only captured at the very end of the game, because she reveals her identity to Link. During the rest of the adventure she is there to guide him and offer words of wisdom.

Zelda is also a stable character in SSB Melee, having the ability to fight as either Zelda or Sheik. In her original form she boasts strong magical attacks, and as Sheik she has very smooth physical attacks. Melee proves Zelda can hold her own.

Sheik's so cool...there's no way he and Zelda are the same person.
Sheik and Zelda are one in the same. There is absolutely no evidence to support the theory that they are separate people. Various clues were left in OoT that connects Zelda to Sheik:

1) A Gossip Stone says that Princess Zelda is a tomboy, which would explain why she chose to make Sheik a man.

2) Impa is the last of her race and would be the only one who could teach Zelda the ways of the Sheikah.

3) Zelda tells Link straight out that she was Sheik. "I apologize for meeting you in disguise, but it was necessary to hide from the King of Evil. Please forgive me."

4) In SSB Melee, you choose Zelda at the start of the fight, then have the option of changing into Sheik by pressing down + B to transform.

5) In the official Ocarina of Time manga, Link discovers Sheik is Zelda before she can reveal herself to him.

6) And, finally... Not many guys would wear a suit that tight.

Zelda's so annoying when you fight Ganon! Every time Link gets hit, she screams!
Maybe she's worried about him.

But she stands there for 10 seconds every time he gets hit when escaping the tower! She wastes too much time!
Zelda actually saves one hell of a lot of time by opening all of the doors on the way down. If she wasn't there to help, Link would probably die. Now, if you actually avoided all of the falling debris, Zelda wouldn't stop to gasp, and you wouldn't be complaining.

Why doesn't Zelda throw Link the Master Sword when it gets knocked out of his hand during the final battle?
Let's explore the possibilities...

1) "This mighty weapon became known as the blade of evil's bane, or the Master Sword. It was so powerful that only one who was pure of heart and strong of body could wield it" (excerpt from A Link to the Past). I'm guessing that the only person in Hyrule who fits that description is Link, the Hero of Time.

2) It's too heavy. Maybe she can't pick it up, or she's afraid that if she throws it, it will fall off the cliff and into the abyss. Then where would Link and Zelda be?

3) If she throws it to Link, but he doesn't reach it in time, Ganon could knock it off the tower.

4) It's a way for the game designers to add more tasks/annoyances to the final battle. It allows for a change of pace; when Link re-enters the circle, Ganon moves more quickly. It also puts emphasis on the importance of the Master Sword, because that is the only weapon you can use to deliver the final blow to Ganon.

I'm placing my bets on #4.

Zelda loves Marth/cheated on Link with Marth/did Marth/baked Marth cookies, etc., etc.
Zelda and Marth...are not even from the same series. And SSBM doesn't have dialogue or a storyline. Perhaps this picture right here helped spawn the MarthxZelda pairing, but aside from that, there is no extra intimacy between the two in SSBM. In the bonus video and some of the ending stills, Zelda is seen with Link. ...Though I must admit I'm a sucker for a love triangle. :(