The Dark Side
Link trudged through the heavy door, clothes dripping wet and hair disheveled. The door slid shut behind him, locking both he and Navi inside.
Link: The Water Temple is teh suck.
Navi: I'm grateful that your cap doubles as a scuba helmet. Or else I'd be dead.
Link: Heaven forbid.
The room became silent as Link ignored Navi's bright red glow and took in his surroundings.
Link: Hey look! We're in some giant room...
He walked forward, past a dead tree, and stopped. Slowly the illusion faded, and the walls of the dungeon came into view.
Link: Oh wait...
Link: Okay, nevermind.
Turning back, Link noticed a figure leaning against the dead tree. It wore a black tunic...just like his. And it wore a cap...just like his. He thought it wore earrings too, though he couldn't say for sure because he was too far away and (despite popular belief) does not have 20/20 vision.
Link: Whoa! That looks like my shadow! Grab the soap, I gotta reattach it!
Link scrambled desperately, checking all of his invisible pockets for the one thing he knew he did not possess.
Navi: Soap...? You should really use a needle and thread.
Dark Link: Hey, no way dude, I don't go for that freaky stuff.
Navi: It spoke!
Link: Dammit, it's already taking on a life of its own. We must be quick!
Link leaped at Dark Link, but Dark Link gracefully stepped out of the way.
Dark Link: Okay man, look. This is how it's gonna go. I am called Dark Link, and I am your evil self.
Link opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off.
Dark Link: Now I didn't pick the name and I can't be held responsible for Ganondorf's lack of creativity. Just because my name is typical for an evil-incarnate-of-a-hero-kinda-enemy doesn't mean you shouldn't take me seriously.
Link moved to speak, but was once again interrupted.
Dark Link: I know you're going to fight me, because that's what heroes do; they don't give up very easily. It's okay, I expected as much.
Link: Um...
Dark Link: I didn't figure you'd say, "Hey Dark Link! Please come kill me!" That would have been naïve.
Link: Excuse me?
Dark Link: Ah, yes?
Link: So...you're not my shadow?
Dark Link: No, see, your shadow is right there underneath your feet.
Link stared at the ground and gave a small disappointed sigh.
Link: ...Oh.
Dark Link: I am your evil incarnate...DARK LINK!
Link: Are you just called Dark Link because you're all grayish-black, or is there another reason?
Dark Link: No, no, that's the reason.
There was an awkward silence.
Link: So...you're supposed to kill me?
Dark Link: All the monsters in the Water Temple were sent to kill you, yes.
Link: But if you're a clone, then that means your genetic makeup isn't as perfect as the original. Meaning this should be easy.
Dark Link: Heh!
Dark Link: ......
Dark Link: Well... I guess... I mean, that's true, but... I'm still a really good swordsman. And I can anticipate all of your moves and block you before you even swing.
Link: That does sound impressive.
Navi: Link!
Link: Whaat??
Navi: Don't tell the enemy he's impressive!
Link: It IS impressive! Can you do that? I think not.
Dark Link: Hey, waitaminute! Who said I was a clone??
Link: Uh, what?
Dark Link: You! You said I was a clone!
Link: Aren't you?
Dark Link: No! I was created for Ganondorf's evil purposes!
Link: Well that doesn't necessarily mean you're not a -
Navi: Let it go, Link.
Link stopped long enough to realize Dark Link had his sword above his head, ready to attack.
Link: ...I mean, no. You're right. You hardly look anything like me.
Dark Link: Enough talk! Now we fight!
Link looked to the left, then the right.
Link: Um, okay.
Link unsheathed the Master Sword and stood at ready. Navi made herself useful by flying over to Dark Link and changing colors while screeching loudly. The battleground was set.
Link: Hey, if you're me only evil and have my weapons and my outfit - why don't you have an annoying fairy?
There was a short pause, in which time Dark Link relaxed his stance slightly.
Dark Link: Ganondorf is evil, not stupid.
Navi fumed. No one cared.
Navi: Just for that, I'm not telling you how to beat him!
Link: Do you ever??
Dark Link: It sounds to me like you guys need to sit down and sort out your problems.
Link: Thanks man, but no one asked you.
Link and Navi resumed their eternal bickering while Dark Link stood near the dead tree, alone.
Dark Link: Fight me!
Neither of the two acknowledged him. He walked closer and yelled louder.
Dark Link: Hello! HELLO! Hey! Hey, listen!
Finally Link turned away, eyebrows raised and eyes large in realization.
Link: I guess that explains what Ganondorf did with Navi's DNA. He simply combined the two of us to create you!
Dark Link: Wha...what? No, no, that can't be!
Dark Link dropped his sword and slowly stepped backwards, all the while staring at his hands in disbelief.
Navi: Well it's not that bad. -_-
Dark Link: I-I'm faulty...I'm a failure! I...I...I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS!!
Navi pursed her lips at the outburst, aura glowing a soft shade of red. Link grinned to himself, thinking the whole scene was the greatest thing ever. Several whacks were heard as Dark Link proceeded to throw himself against the dungeon walls.
Link: Hey dude, I'm ready to fight now.
Dark Link: NO! *whack* I will defeat myself! *whack* It is the only way to rid myself of this flaw!
Link and Navi both cringed as the self-inflicted pain continued. A few more running jumps into the wall, and Dark Link knocked himself unconscious.
Navi: Now, Link! Finish him!
Link: I can't do that.
Navi: What? Why not??
Link: It's just... I feel like he's a part of me. Like a son.
Navi: You have got to be kidding. Look, we need to get out of here and the only way to get the doors to open is to destroy Dark Link!
Link: There's always another way.
Navi: There's only another way for the peace-loving, tree-hugging hippies! You're a warrior, so just kill him!
There was a long, silent pause. Link shrugged.
Link: I can't argue with that.
And so stuff happened, and the doors opened, and Link got a really nice pair of black leather boots. He walked through the newly opened passage, into a room where multiple whirlpools spun menacingly. The whole concept appeared ridiculously difficult. Link sighed deeply, knowing he would be repeating this room several hundred times.
Link: The Water Temple is teh suck.
