Going Away Present

 
High above Hyrule, the princess and the hero floated among the clouds. The evil that plagued the land had been vanquished and all that was left was to finish restoring order.

Zelda: ...You must lay the Master Sword to rest and close the Door of Time...

Link: ...Princess?

Zelda slowly raised her eyes to meet the boy's gaze.

Zelda: Yes, Link?

Link: ...Would it be possible to get a slushie before I go back?

He rested a hand behind his head and smiled sheepishly.

Link: I'm really thirsty.

The princess' face twisted in disbelief.

Zelda: Um, actually, NO. I don't think so.

Link brought his hand back down to his side, wrinkling his brow.

Link: You can turn back time, but you can't get a slushie?

Zelda: They're hard to find here.

Becoming nervous, Zelda scanned her surroundings, hoping to find something that would appease the warrior.

Zelda: Can I get you something else? Like...er... We have clouds.

Link sighed heavily, his shoulders drooping.

Link: No...that's okay. I'll just suck the blood from my tunic and pretend it's cherry flavored.

The princess involuntarily cringed, cocking her head to one side.

Zelda: Okay...That was disgusting. Look, I'm sorry about the slushie... How about I get you one after we go back?

Link: Well... I dunno. It just wouldn't be the same.

Zelda: It's a slushie, Link, not a Kodak moment. Either you take some clouds, or you wait until we get back!

Link: ...You're not going to threaten me, are you?

Zelda: .....

Link: Because I'm actually not very fond of violence.

Zelda: You had no problem stabbing Ganon in the head.

Link: Oh yeah... My mistake. I do like violence.

Zelda: Now, hand me the Ocarina.

Link: ....

Zelda: You have the Oca-

Link: Of course! It's only that...I kinda wanted to get it appraised.

The princess snatched the precious object out of his hands, glaring menacingly. She quickly inspected the ocarina, then brought it up to her lips.

Link: That really isn't sanitary. You should wash it in warm water or alcohol first. Not that I'm sick or anything, just...

Zelda: Do you want to go home or not??

Link: I'm really not sure, I mean... Will I get to keep all these cool weapons I picked up in various temples by defeating the mini-bosses?

Zelda: No, I'm sorry.

Link: How about all the other random stuff I got by performing pointless tasks?

Zelda: No, I think all of your items will be lost.

Link: Even my cow?

Zelda: You have a cow?

Link: Will I get to keep all of my rupees?

Zelda: I told you no.

Link: My clothes?

Zelda: Uh...

Link: I don't get to keep my clothes??

Zelda: Well, I don't know! I've never done this before! All I know is that you cannot take any physical items with you.

Link: Then what about the Ocarina?

Zelda: There are exceptions, okay?!

Link: Geez, calm down! After freeing five Sages and saving the world, I just wanna make sure I'll return with dignity.

Zelda: Actually that doesn't really matter...

Link: Hmm?

Zelda: You see, no one will remember what happened.

Link: .....

Zelda: .....

Link: ...No one?

Zelda: Stop with the questions!

Link: Hey! We're standing on nothing!

Link frantically looked around him while Zelda stood unmoving.

Zelda: Yes.

Link: ........

Zelda: ........

Link: Okay....

Zelda: If you're done talking, then I'm going to send you back. Us back. Everyone - You know what I mean!

Link: Actually, you're kind of confusing me.

Zelda: Belts confuse you, Link.

Link: ...What's your point?

Zelda: Bye, Link.

Link: Where are you going?

Zelda: We're going back in time so you can relive your youth - I thought I explained this already.

Link: Why are you saying bye if we're both going back?

Zelda: Because we may not remember each other.

Zelda: ...Why are you smiling?

Link: Oh! Sorry, I was just thinking about what you said.

The princess stared at him dully.

Zelda: I'm sending you back now.

Link: Right.

Zelda brought the ocarina to her lips, paused, then lowered the instrument slightly.

Link: ....Need any help?

Zelda: No! I just...haven't played one of these for several years.

Link: My goddess, Zelda! What have you been playing for the last several years??

Zelda: You know, I'm actually sorry I'm going to forget all of the stupid things you've said.

Link: You could write them on your dress and then-

Zelda: ......

Link: Or...I could shut up and you could do the little time warp thing.

Zelda: Very we-

Link: Did you want to do the goodbye's again?

Zelda: If it will make you happy.

Link: You know what would really make me happy?

Zelda: I don't know if I want to know.

Link: A slushie, if you could just get me a slushie-

Zelda: I told you already, I can't! Not here, not now! Come see me when we get back and I'll BURY you in slushies! Okay??

Link: ...Yeah, alright.

Zelda: You're so difficult!

Link: Well excuse me for saving Hyrule!

Zelda: Actually, it was more like you 'fixed' Hyrule rather than saved it, considering it was already pretty far gone.

Link: Why don't we finish this conversation when we get back?

Zelda: ...We may not remember it when we get back.

Link: Good.

Zelda took a deep breath, preparing to play the ocarina.

Link: Hey!

Zelda: What?

Link: Will I remember to ask for a slushie when we get back?

The princess pursed her lips.

Zelda: Yes.

Link: ...How do you figure?

Zelda: Because you're smart like that.

They stared at each other silently. Link raised an eyebrow.

Link: Would that be sarcasm?

Zelda: Never.

Link: Mmkay.

Zelda: Ready?

Link: For wha-?

Zelda flashed him a menacing glare.

Link: I mean yes!

Zelda: ...Very well.

The princess began the Song of Time slowly and a bright light enveloped Link.

Link: Hey, I'm floating!

Zelda hit a wrong note, but quickly caught herself.