Chapter 3

The entire Garden was ecstatic, seeing the president of Esthar's arrival. Esthar was, after all, the most advanced in technology, and President Loire rarely made appearances anywhere.

Hundreds of students and instructors gathered around the unprotected leader as he made his way toward the main hall. Being the ham that he is, Laguna stopped for photo opportunities with the pupils and answered many of their questions about his favorite cereal and what he thought was funnier: cheese or beavers. For the extremely difficult questions, Laguna would shake his head slightly and answer, "No comment."

Kiros and Ward were becoming perturbed and urged Laguna to continue on. "Come ON, MAN! Let's go! You can talk to these people anytime, but if you don't hurry, Squall might leave the country!"

"Alright, alright! Geeze, you always have to burst my burble?"

"That's bubble, Laguna."

"Yeah, whatever." He waved and smiled one last time before following Ward and Kiros into the check-in office.

__________

"Name?" the secretary asked.

"Laguna Loire." He took a deep breath then smiled. "President of Esthar."

"Seriously, sir."

"Laguna Loire," he repeated.

"Okay, let's do it this way. Who are you here to see?"

"Squall Loi-....Lion....Leo..."

Ward and Kiros exchanged distressed glances.

"Lyonhate...Luo... It does start with an 'L', right?"

"Leonhart! The kid's name is Leonhart!" Kiros yelled.

"Um....What he said."

The secretary rechecked her papers and pulled out a plastic coated name tag. "Here you go, Mr., oh, excuse me, 'President' Loire," she said, making quotation marks with her fingers.

Laguna thanked the woman and pinned the tag to his jacket. "Do you know where I could find him?"

"The commander should be taking his lunch break. Try the cafeteria to your right."

"But where's Squall?"

The woman sighed heavily. "Commander Leonhart is in the C A F E T E R I A."

He paused, unsure of what she was trying to say. When it finally hit him, he turned excitedly to his friends. "D'ja hear that? My son's the commander!" He laughed giddily. "Takes after his old man," he added proudly.

"....."

"What d'ja say, Ward?"

Kiros gladly interpreted. "He agrees that you're old."

__________

"Son!"

"AHH!!!" Squall fell over in his seat and defensively held the plastic spork in front of his face.

Irvine chuckled heartily as he revealed his identity to his petrified teammate. Squall, of course, did not laugh.

"That was inhumane," he mumbled as he picked up the plastic chair.

Irvine shrugged. "Sorry. I couldn't miss the opportunity," he smiled.

"Son!"

Squall scowled at Irvine, who threw up his hands in defense. "Wasn't me this time!"

"You mean..." Squall whispered frightfully.

"Son!" Laguna yelled again as he ran to him.

Unable to move due to fear, Squall stood still, tensely squeezing his fists. He grunted uncomfortably as Laguna practically squashed him with a hug.

"How's my boy doing? You got a girlfriend? Are you passing all your classes? How do you like your teachers? Do they hassle you? Have you ever been sent to the principal's office?"

"Whatever, yes, straight A's, whatever, sometimes, we don't have a principal, we have a Headmaster. I guess that answered all your questions, the next flight out is in a half hour."

"Don't worry about my job, I've cleared the entire week just for you!"

Squall's twitch went unnoticed as Laguna hugged him once more. His eyes searched the cafeteria rapidly, awaiting for his other teammates (or at least Selphie, who'd stick to Laguna like glue) to see him and come to his rescue....but no one came.

"Hey, why don't you show me around? I'd love to meet your friends. You...do have friends now, right?"

"...."

".......Or, you could tell me about your normal day. Do you take any extra curricular activities?

"...."

"Play a sport?"

"...No."

"Take art?"

"...No."

"Take music?"

"...No."

"Joined a club?...No, huh?"

"...."

"What do you take?"

"Sleeping pills."

Laguna decided not to continue asking questions about school, considering Squall was giving him the cold shoulder.

".....Wanna play Parcheesi?"

__________

It didn't take long before Selphie caught sight of President Loire. Her little heart skipped a beat and her hyper mode kicked in. "Sir Laguna! Sir Laguna!" she screamed and skipped merrily over to Squall and his father.

'There is a God!' "Selphie!" Squall waved his arms in the air. "Over here! Look! It's L-a-g-u-n-a!"

"Is she your friend?" he whispered to Squall, who nodded happily. "You have more than one, right?"

"Laguna, Laguna, Laguna!" Selphie sang.

"Isn't she cute?" the president smiled. "She sounds like those moombas."

"I'll just.....leave you guys alone...So you can get better acquainted." Squall struggled to release Laguna's grip on his arm.

"Nonsense, son!" he laughed. "Hey, why don't you round up 'the gang' and we can hang out!"

"Hang out?"

"Yeah! It'll be fun!"

"Hang out? You wanna hang out with my friends?"

"And you, of course!" He patted him on the back. Squall figured that pat to be number forty-two and decided that when he reached one hundred, would report child abuse.

Selphie continued to jump up and down. "I'll get everyone for you! SeeDs have some time off today, anyway. We'll meet you at your dorm, Squall!" She rushed off cheerfully, heading toward Kiros and Ward, who quickly side-stepped her.

Squall nearly choked. "My dorm?"

__________

Irvine, Rinoa, Quistis, and Zell had gathered into Squall's dorm. They each greeted President Loire respectfully and answered his questions.

"How long have you known my son? Is he doing well commanding Garden? Are you old enough to vote?"

Zell scratched the back of his head in thought. "Er, well, I knew Squall at the orphanage, but forgot about him-"

"Yeah, that's easy to do."

"....after I was adopted. We met up again late last year. He's doin' a great job with the Garden. Lot's of stuff always goin' on...."

"So, tell me, Zell....can you vote? Next year's an election year...."

"I'll be old enough in March, but-"

"You're going to vote for me, right?!" Laguna grabbed Zell by the collar before he fell over from shock.

Zell nervously squeaked out, "I wasn't planning on-"

"You're going to vote for me, right?!"

"I'm not even a citizen of Esthar!"

"Laguna, please let Zell go. He has enough problems as it is," Squall sighed.

Laguna looked at his hands in embarrassment and released Zell. "Sorry, kid, I always get excited when talking about politics," he apologized, half laughing.

Zell backed away cautiously. "No prob."

"Didn't you say you had a girlfriend, Squall?" Kiros questioned.

His father put his hand over his heart and, quite dramatically, said, "My little boy's growing up." He sniffled a little, then turned to face Squall.

"...."

"Can I meet her?"

"Sure." He brought Rinoa up to Laguna. "Not like the knife can go any deeper, anyway," he grumbled.

Rinoa shot him an angered glance, but decided not say anything. "Nice to meet you, I'm Rinoa Heartilly." She smiled warmly and they shook hands.

"Heartilly? That sounds really familiar...."

Kiros ran over hastily. "Change of subject!" he interrupted.

Laguna rested his head in his hand. "Heartilly...."

"Why don't we all go for a ride? We could...uh...stop at the park!" Kiros waved his hands, trying to get others to join in.

"Is your hand asleep?" Irvine inquired.

Kiros walked over to Irvine and whispered, "If he remembers this girl Julia, he's going to get upset. Change the subject!"

Irvine nodded in agreement and proceeded to throw out suggestions. "We could see a movie, go bowling, sneak into a bar-"

Laguna raised an eyebrow. "Did you say bar?"

"No!" Kiros answered for him. "He said...barber's. We should all get a hair cut!"

"Which one?" Laguna laughed hysterically at his joke, while the others stared blankly.

Acting as though he was never cut off, Irvine continued offering selections. "We could go to an amusement park, fight monsters at the training center-"

"That sounds like fun! It's been so long since I've destroyed monsters... It'll be great to be able to fight alongside my son."

Squall winced as Laguna patted his back for the sixty-second time. By now, Squall was seriously thinking of lowering the number to sixty-five.

Chapter 4

DAY 2!

Deep within the training center, battle cries echoed. Rattatatatatatat! Screeeeeeech! Thump, thump, plop.

Laguna grinned widely and raised his machine gun above his head. "HA! Take that, you detestable slime! I shall prevail! HA HA HA!"

Squall abruptly pulled his father's arm down, causing him to lower his gun. "Laguna, pleeeease wait until we see a monster to shoot off your machine gun. I don't believe that pigeon deserved to die."

"Neither did those squirrels," Quistis said, raising an eyebrow.

"They were in my way! Besides, you never know when one might mutate into a Chimera or an Iron Giant." He looked around cautiously before proceeding. "And I'm pretty sure that was the pigeon that left all those presents on my car..."

Zell observed Selphie's confused expression and decided to clarify what Laguna had said. "The pigeon shit on his car," he told her bluntly.

She nodded in understanding. "Oh."

Squall wrinkled his brow and tenderly rubbed his forehead. "Y'know, I don't think coming here was a good idea," he spoke tiredly.

Bang!

Selphie stared blankly in the direction the creature had been shot down. "One less butterfly in the world." She turned her attention back to Squall and gave him a melancholy look.

"Let's...do something else," Squall uttered, folding his arms.

Laguna scratched his head. "Wanna see embarrassing pictures of Squall when he was a baby?"

Rinoa's face lit up as Squall stood there speechless. "I do!" she squealed with delight.

"How did you get those?! I don't even have pictures of me!"

Laguna completely ignored his son's question and cooed, "Doesn't he look cute in his little baby pajamas with the footies?"

'Oh my God. No.'

Rinoa squinted her eyes. "Why are there little pink ribbons in his hair?"

"What? Pink ribbons?" Squall hastily ran to where they were standing.

"Oh, yeah, um... You see, your mother and I, er...really wanted a girl, and-"

"You dressed me like a girl?!"

"It was just the one time!" he protested. "None of the neighbors seemed to notice..."

"Why'd you dress me like a girl?! You had Elle! Dress her like a girl!"

"....But....it was so cute..."

He flung his hands in the air. "I can't take it anymore!"

"Now, Squall." Rinoa turned him toward her, trying to calm him down. "Your father's just proud. There's no need to-heh-get, erm-heh heh-upset." She smiled wryly, attempting to suppress her laughter.

"Thanks, Rinoa. That really made me feel good about my twistedly tortured childhood."

She giggled and patted his shoulder. "Oh, lighten up!"

Squall looked back at Laguna and the others as they continued to flip through the photos. "It wasn't enough that you made me eat strained peas, but you had to make me the world's youngest cross-dresser, too!"

"Don't be mad, son. All parents do things that embarrass their children," Laguna responded lightheartedly. Kiros and Ward grunted, then became preoccupied with their surroundings before Laguna could remark. Squall continued to stare at his father, who was nervously fidgeting with his fingers.

Quistis caught sight of his tension and decided to help. "Timber U's got a basketball game tonight against Deling. Why don't we all get tickets and go?"

Squall's face expressed his displeasure. Not only was he not in the mood to watch a game, but Timber's basketball team had suffered from many player losses. Now, they literally sucked.

Before he could object, Rinoa led him out of the Training Center and the others, except Laguna, followed.

Ratatatatatat!

The president smiled as he walked toward the exit. "That cactus didn't even have a chance."

__________

Fans decked out in blue cheered nonstop as the Deling Devils walked out onto the floor. Zell, Selphie, Irvine, and Quistis cheered too, but quickly stopped when they spotted Rinoa glaring at them.

Music began to play as the announcer introduced the home team. "Ladies and gentlemen! Timber's own TWISTERS!"

Rinoa whistled and clapped, as Zell, Selphie, Irvine, and Quistis lightly patted their hands together. After a few minutes and the Timber Twisters didn't appear, a man scrambled out with a microphone. He raised his hands in an attempt to quiet the crowd.

"Hello! How's everybody doing? Um... We're having a few problems-"

The audience booed and shouted at the announcement.

"There WILL be a game tonight!" he assured them. "But while the Twisters are getting...ready...everyone's favorite mascot, Tony the Twirling Twister, will entertain you!"

Mumbling continued until the mascot took the stage. He waddled to the center and greeted the people with a wave and a small kick. Timber had used the same outfit for over twenty years, which explained the many patches. The student willing to become the great twister was clothed in a giant tornado costume that had a goofy smile painted on the front. The student went through basic training; learning how to wave, how to take care of their suit, and how to protect themselves from insane fans who hated the team's mascot. But the most important deed of the twister was to charm the audience.....by spinning.

And so, dance music played as Tony the Twirling Twister spun in place. After spinning clockwise for a few minutes, he spun counter-clockwise for an exciting change of pace. The die-hard Twister fans clapped along with the music, while most everyone else shouted profanities.

"I hope they start soon," Zell grumbled.

"Wait." Laguna held his hand in front of Squall, telling him to stop. "There!" He pointed to Tony as he changed from counter-clockwise to clockwise. Squall squinted his eyes in annoyance. "Two minutes on the dot! The guy's a genius!"

Squall shook his head. "He's been spinning for over an hour. I'm leaving."

"Yeah! Let's get our money back!" Selphie agreed. Unfortunately, the man behind her heard and decided that it was a good idea also. Soon enough, a riot had broken out. Cashiers shielded themselves from the angry mob while Squall and the gang tiptoed outside.

"Okay, so that didn't go so hot," Quistis admitted.

Irvine checked his watch. "It's six o'clock. The night's still young!"

"I'm hungry," Selphie told them. She rubbed her stomach to emphasize her statement.

"Yeah, me too." Everyone nodded their heads. That's exactly what they expected from Zell.

"I'm up for Italian!" Laguna, Kiros, and Ward all agreed.

"Casual or Fancy?" Quistis asked.

Laguna answered for them. "Casual."

"Expensive or cheap?"

"Erm...cheap...but not too cheap."

"Ravioli or tortellini?"

"Can't I decide when we get there?"

"Satellite or cable?"

"Satellite, but-"

"News or sports?"

"....News...."

"Red or tan?"

"Red. What does this-"

"Louie or Fritz?"

"Who?"

"We'll go with Fritz. Okay, I've got the perfect restaurant!"

__________

Squall parked the van outside of This is an Italian Restaurant, the local Italian restaurant.

They walked inside and were greeted by the waitress. "How many?"

"Nine!" Selphie answered.

The waitress smiled. "It's going to be about a twenty minute wait."

"That's fine," Squall said.

"Can I have your name?"

"Le-"

"Bable!" Zell interrupted.

"Okay." She wrote on her notepad, then looked up at them. "You can get drinks at the bar. I'll call you when we're ready."

Squall looked confusedly at Zell, but shrugged it off when he sat down.

A few minutes after they'd gotten their drinks, the doors opened and in popped Seifer and his posse.

Zell practically choked, but Squall merely rolled his eyes. He watched Seifer give his name to the waitress, then catch sight of him. Being unable to resist the opportunity, the Disciplinary Committee treaded over to Squall and the other SeeDs.

"Hey, there Puberty Boy, Chicken-Wuss."

Selphie covered Zell's mouth before he had time to respond.

Squall sighed. "Listen, now's not the ti-"

"Hello! Are you one of my son's friends, too?"

Seifer stepped back, startled by the president's appearance. "Y-you're the President of Esthar!" he gasped.

Laguna smiled. "You've heard of me?" he asked in mock surprise.

Squall slapped his forehead.

"H-hey, guys! Look! It's President Loire! And...two other guys dressed in silly Esthar garb!"

Raijin and Fujin squealed excitedly. "It's really him, ya know! Can I have your autograph?"

"Sure!"

Raijin handed him the waitress's pen. "Here's my arm. Make it out to 'My favorite citizen, Raijin'.”

Fujin automatically kicked him. "WAIT TURN" She walked in front of Laguna and pointed to her brow. "SIGN FOREHEAD"

"Alright!"

Squall hit the table with his hand and stood up. "Enough! We're here to eat dinner! I don't need you people annoying me!"

Seifer paused, shocked. "Squall, you shouldn't speak that way in front of the president!"

"That's not the president, that's my dad!.....Oops." He hastily covered his mouth, but the deed was done, and everyone within a five mile radius heard.

Seifer, Fujin, and Raijin stopped dead in their tracks. "WHAT?" Fujin uttered.

"You are not!" Seifer laughed at an embarrassed Squall.

"No, he's right." Laguna brought Squall closer to him. "He's my son!"

Fujin and Raijin's jaws dropped, but Seifer saw this as an opportunity to come up with more ways to harass Squall.

He grinned smugly and opened his mouth to speak, when the waitress came over the intercom. "Table for Bable. Table for Bable."

Zell, Selphie, Irvine, and Rinoa chuckled to themselves. They followed the woman into the back, leaving the posse in the bar area.

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